Introduction to Architecture

In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, relationships we were afraid to have and decisions we waited too long to make. ☹

Wagas na regret. That's how my state of mind is right now. Just finished watching "Introduction to Architecture," and all I can say is, natakot ako bigla to live to a big regret.

The movie was about a first love gone wrong between two young friends. Almost the same one I had. Haha. Oo. Loser ako when it comes to my first love. Maybe because fear got the best of me. And I easily gave up. Or maybe sobrang mixed up yung singnals at hindi lang talagang nagkaintindihan. Hay, basta. Let's just say that my first love was a disaster. A complete mess.

I seriously don't want to end up like the characters in the movie. They just let themselves be so absorbed in misery and just let go of their love so fast. Andami kayang chances and opportunities for them to get together. Siguro, tama nga yung kasabihang "kung kayo talaga, magiging kayo talaga sa huli." Kahit ano pa man ang mangyari. Kasi gagawa at gagawa kayo ng paraan not to let each other go.

But for me, I guess it would take me great courage to do this feat. Siguro, kasi I'm so scared to put all my feelings into the open. Baka gawin lang yun reason ng ibang tao to get the best of me. Or maybe I just don't like the feeling of being embarrassed. Or ayoko lang to be hurt. Kasi baka hindi ko kayanin. Kaya nga kahit, I already felt it. Yun. Denial to the max parin ang peg ng lola mo. Maybe all I need is a little push, or a sign from that person. Or something. Basta.

Sana hindi pa nga huli. Kasi parang wala na akong reason or hope to hold on. Baka wala na nga akong babalikan. Or maybe may iba na.
Would it still be worth to take a risk and take a leap. Or baka, masaktan lang ako.

 Baka this time, talagang i-regret ko na ang lahat ng nangyari samin. I'm scared to live with regret all my life. Baka di ko kayanin.

Fr now, maybe I'll just cry myself to sleep. Kasi walang chance pa talaga ngayon. Sobrang labo na.

Just wishing and hoping na meron pa akong pwedeng balikan. Sana somehow, meron pa. Aasa pa ko while slowly dying.

Wagas na sayang.