It's time to feel infinite.

 

Tonight, I suddenly miss my youth. Chos. Turning mellow ang peg. Teehee. Well, I just can't wait to catch "The Perks of Being A Wallflower" live soon.

Haha. I can still remember the first time I got hold of this amazing read by Stephen Chobsky.

I can't let go of it from first page till the ending. Well, I guess it's because it was all about finding your real self while tackling issues with your first love (I'm a sucker for first love novels. ♥), and struggling to find your place within a group of friends.

I was so hooked with Charlie and whether he'll really end up with Sam. Kaso, I was quite a bit disappointed when I was nearing the end of it. Si Charlie naman kasi. Sobrang torpe. Yun tuloy. Napag-iwanan.

I think when I finished reading the book, I realized that being a wallflower can have both it's perks and negative points.

Let's start with the perks. First, you don't stand out much, so you're safe. And when people soon notice and identify you as a wallflower, they make you fit in with them effortlessly and in the return, you earn the privilege of gaining their trust and some of the most well-kept / juicy secrets. You get to score invites to the hush parties and soirees just because peeps would like witnesses and they trust you will keep it to yourself. In short, wallflowers can be some people's Pandora's boxes. It's like being the secret keeper to scandals. In a subtle way.

Then, there's when you become too comfortable with being a wallflower, you tend to be passive. It would seem like you would just go with the flow and feel of the common crowd. You would be too compliant with staying at the sidelines, that you won't even have the courage to say and express with what you really feel. You've just completely hidden yourself well. Camouflaged with the paintings on the wall. And, malas mo na lang, if in the process, well, naging isa kang dakilang torpe.

I, would have to say I'm lucky I somehow overcome my being a wallflower in the past. I guess, people can relate to what I'm saying. Lahat naman siguro tayo, may moment na naging wallflower tayo. Remember when there was a time when you were scared to let people see through you and you don't want them to jump into conclusions about your personality, and you went to see the feel and beat of the crowd? Then, that's your wallflower moment. ♕

I would have to say my fave lines from the book itself would be the following:

Right now, we are alive and in this moment I swear we are infinite. - Charlie

Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like nothing? -Sam
We accept the love we think we deserve. - Charlie

Welcome to the island of misfit toys. - Sam

Be aggressive. Passive aggressive. - Patrick

You see things, and you understand. You’re a wallflower. – Patrick

Come on. Let's be psychos together. - Sam to Charlie

She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time. - Charlie to Sam

So there, I just can't wait to see the book come alive soon. Especially since Emma Watson will be playing Sam, and Logan Leerman as Charlie. I think the film will start screening on Oct 25 here in Singapore, so I'll definitely book a seat. Haha.

I definitely can't wait to see a perfect cast play a perfect book. ☺ Plus, I'm so hooked with the film's soundtrack, especially this ear candy by Imagine Dragons.

Listening to this ear candy is enough to make me feel infinite. ☺ So, there. Pasensya na sa sudden outburst. I just can't stop from ranting my random, senseless thoughts sometimes. Teehee.

The Future.

“I usually don’t like thinking about the future. I mean, let’s face it, you can’t predict what’s going to happen. But sometimes, the thing you didn’t expect is what you really wanted after all. Maybe the best thing to do is just stop trying to figure out where your going, and enjoy where your at.”

Introduction to Architecture

In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, relationships we were afraid to have and decisions we waited too long to make. ☹

Wagas na regret. That's how my state of mind is right now. Just finished watching "Introduction to Architecture," and all I can say is, natakot ako bigla to live to a big regret.

The movie was about a first love gone wrong between two young friends. Almost the same one I had. Haha. Oo. Loser ako when it comes to my first love. Maybe because fear got the best of me. And I easily gave up. Or maybe sobrang mixed up yung singnals at hindi lang talagang nagkaintindihan. Hay, basta. Let's just say that my first love was a disaster. A complete mess.

I seriously don't want to end up like the characters in the movie. They just let themselves be so absorbed in misery and just let go of their love so fast. Andami kayang chances and opportunities for them to get together. Siguro, tama nga yung kasabihang "kung kayo talaga, magiging kayo talaga sa huli." Kahit ano pa man ang mangyari. Kasi gagawa at gagawa kayo ng paraan not to let each other go.

But for me, I guess it would take me great courage to do this feat. Siguro, kasi I'm so scared to put all my feelings into the open. Baka gawin lang yun reason ng ibang tao to get the best of me. Or maybe I just don't like the feeling of being embarrassed. Or ayoko lang to be hurt. Kasi baka hindi ko kayanin. Kaya nga kahit, I already felt it. Yun. Denial to the max parin ang peg ng lola mo. Maybe all I need is a little push, or a sign from that person. Or something. Basta.

Sana hindi pa nga huli. Kasi parang wala na akong reason or hope to hold on. Baka wala na nga akong babalikan. Or maybe may iba na.
Would it still be worth to take a risk and take a leap. Or baka, masaktan lang ako.

 Baka this time, talagang i-regret ko na ang lahat ng nangyari samin. I'm scared to live with regret all my life. Baka di ko kayanin.

Fr now, maybe I'll just cry myself to sleep. Kasi walang chance pa talaga ngayon. Sobrang labo na.

Just wishing and hoping na meron pa akong pwedeng balikan. Sana somehow, meron pa. Aasa pa ko while slowly dying.

Wagas na sayang.

Messy.

Right now, I’m like a mixture of happy yet empty yet sad yet melancholic. In short, I’m a mess. ☹

Once Upon Another Time...

Today, I finally changed my work permit to the much approved S-Pass. Which means I will be extended for another 2 year contract here in Singapore. I almost lost my way going to the Work Pass Centre. It's always so important to take note of the building names here in Singapore., like how Tanjong Pagar Plaza and Tanjong Pagar Complex are two completely different towers. Ugh. And don't ever go out without taking an umbrella ☂ with you. (Mom was right all along.)

In SG, unlike the Philippines, the weather is so unpredictable. One moment, it's all sunny and bright outside, then the next thing, it's raining cats and dogs. Plus, it's super no-no to get soaked here. It sort of gives you that "basang sisiw" effect and people would start to look at you either with a strange look or glare at you. Which is so uncomfortable, especially if you still have to travel for another 30 mins to reach home. ☹

Then, I shall officially be back to work again next Monday. Good thing the training venue will be just 2 train stops from our place. Teehee. Extra bedtime for me. ✌

Only problem is since I've been stuck on the black bandwagon for quite some time with my old job, I have no snappy clothes for my new office job. Which leaves me with no choice but to try to haggle some new shoes and tops tomorrow after church time. Good luck to me.

Also grabbed a quick sweet fix at our very much convenient McCafe with Rose, my housemate. Nomnom and catch up time with our hot fudge sundaes. ☺

EAR CANDY TIME!

Sara Bareilles - Once Upon Another Time (EP)
Tracklist:
Once Upon Another Time
Stay
Lie To Me
Sweet As Whole
Bright Lights And Cityscapes  

I picked up Sara Bareilles' new EP, "Once Upon Another Time" today. And frankly, it's been nice. All 5 tracks are quite good. Kinda gives you that Adele feel when you start with the first track.

Fave track from the album would be #5 Bright Lights and Cityscapes. Grabeh. It's like my entire thoughts were written into the lyrics.

But I'm gonna love you
You never have to ask
I'm gonna love you
'Till you start looking back
I'm gonna love you
So right
I wouldn't need a second chance

I personally think that this album is her best yet. I mean, her lyrics are truthful and she can make me cry. Honestly. She’s amazing. Anyone can relate to her songs and instantly love it. She’s just the best thing ever. Every time I listen to her, I just think that she deserves more recognition or something because her songs are so true and close to the heart.

So there. I shall end it here for now. Till then.

Cheerios.




Credits: Sara Bareilles - Once Upon Another Time (EP) Lyrics

The Comeback.

Okay. So here's a snapshot of my last post on this blog of mine. That was like a year ago.

And I guess, I have been a tad too boring to blog and update this side of my online life which makes me a bad blogger. :(

But I will soon make up for it.

So watch out. This blog will soon make its comeback. :)