Introduction to Architecture

In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, relationships we were afraid to have and decisions we waited too long to make. ☹

Wagas na regret. That's how my state of mind is right now. Just finished watching "Introduction to Architecture," and all I can say is, natakot ako bigla to live to a big regret.

The movie was about a first love gone wrong between two young friends. Almost the same one I had. Haha. Oo. Loser ako when it comes to my first love. Maybe because fear got the best of me. And I easily gave up. Or maybe sobrang mixed up yung singnals at hindi lang talagang nagkaintindihan. Hay, basta. Let's just say that my first love was a disaster. A complete mess.

I seriously don't want to end up like the characters in the movie. They just let themselves be so absorbed in misery and just let go of their love so fast. Andami kayang chances and opportunities for them to get together. Siguro, tama nga yung kasabihang "kung kayo talaga, magiging kayo talaga sa huli." Kahit ano pa man ang mangyari. Kasi gagawa at gagawa kayo ng paraan not to let each other go.

But for me, I guess it would take me great courage to do this feat. Siguro, kasi I'm so scared to put all my feelings into the open. Baka gawin lang yun reason ng ibang tao to get the best of me. Or maybe I just don't like the feeling of being embarrassed. Or ayoko lang to be hurt. Kasi baka hindi ko kayanin. Kaya nga kahit, I already felt it. Yun. Denial to the max parin ang peg ng lola mo. Maybe all I need is a little push, or a sign from that person. Or something. Basta.

Sana hindi pa nga huli. Kasi parang wala na akong reason or hope to hold on. Baka wala na nga akong babalikan. Or maybe may iba na.
Would it still be worth to take a risk and take a leap. Or baka, masaktan lang ako.

 Baka this time, talagang i-regret ko na ang lahat ng nangyari samin. I'm scared to live with regret all my life. Baka di ko kayanin.

Fr now, maybe I'll just cry myself to sleep. Kasi walang chance pa talaga ngayon. Sobrang labo na.

Just wishing and hoping na meron pa akong pwedeng balikan. Sana somehow, meron pa. Aasa pa ko while slowly dying.

Wagas na sayang.

D-14!

Argh. my most hated holiday in the universe is fast approaching.

Tomorrow, the month of love (*chokes self) shall be upon us.

By then, my world shall be invaded by sappy notes,cuddly plushies, flowers and chocolates galore. The time when office becomes hectic and chaotic as flower orders with coming in from people to their "amores."

That's the one thing I hate most about my latest stint as a ramp-up CSR. Celebrating Valentines Day. Cuss.

I mean, what's the big deal with all these gooey stuff? Really.
It's just a date, people. It's just Feb. 14. Nothing else.

Why wait for a day when the whole business world is sitting back and enjoying the fervors of this sappy event? If you really love and care for your "amores", you can do send them your flowers and chocolates anyday. Right?

Don't get the wrong idea, mister. I'm love with the idea of being "in love" but I just don't like how V-day can make singles like us feel about our current status.

It's not exactly our fault why we chose to be single during these season. However, V-day really brings out all the negativity in us. Like, when you line up for your coffee fix in the cafe and everyone is all tied up in pairs and you realize you're the only one standing by your lone self.

To put it simply, V-day makes me the univited guest to a VIP party. And I absolutely detest that. Ugh.

14 days to go. Somebody save me!

Darn it. I just hate V-Day.